An Unwelcome Check in the Mail?

An unwelcome check. Yes, apparently there is such a thing. We got one today... it was our earnest money that had been released from the house we had a contract on. Seeing it plucked a bitter string in my heart.

We had/have a contract to sell our home as well, but our buyer got laid off. So the purchase of this other home was contingent on the sale of ours... which hasn't come together. The seller of the home we were to buy received another contract without a contingency, which is really good for them, a little heart-breaking for us. We would have done exactly the same thing in their position and are happy that they can make their next move. It has really struck me how one person getting laid off can ripple out and effect so many lives... we are still praying for him to find work, he's got it the worst in all of this. 

Perspective in all this is: yes, we are very disappointed not to be moving this week into a dreamy home that we believed to be our next home, but we trust God has a bigger plan unfolding. There are purposes, lessons and circumstances happening that we cannot see or understand. But He knows our needs and is even shaping the desires of our hearts to better reflect His. We are thankful for that and resting in this assurance.

.

 

We wouldn't have asked for things to go this way, 

but often these turns are the ones that take us directly where we need to be.

P.S. I prefer the translation of this verse that calls Jesus the Author and perfecter of our faith, but in this circumstance I need reminding to "consider it all in comparison with my trials".

P.S.S. I know I've been an absentee blogger this Summer, but I know you all can live without my random thoughts and images, and that you can forgive my absence. :)

"Society is Afraid of Alonedom"

 Did I forget to share this with you until now?!
I'm so sorry. 

Tanya Davis is the performer/poet in this video... 

I relish her vulnerability, there is strength in it. 

I have posted another video of hers previously, I love it also.

I wish she would perform somewhere nearer to here than Canada, sigh.

I was out with a friend the other night and the topic of going to a movie alone came up in our conversation. Mentally and verbally I applauded her for doing so herself, and I was reminded of this video. These lines are especially nice.

"Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it."

Tanya Davis

We shouldn't be afraid of being alone.

There is a lot to be said for the comfort of our own company.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Today is a bright and cheery day for several reasons... 

would you like to know those reasons? 

(This might require a bullet list, there are quite a few! I'm a wordy girl, I know.)

• First of all, it is gorgeous outside. 

•  Even though the wind is blowing 30mph, Philip rode his bike to work today. I'm happy he got to ride!

• This Spring, Spring, Spring weather is perfect for the park! And we didn't only get to go to a very cool park, but we met up with some of our favorite people! 

• Then we had lunch at Freddy's, oh my! It was there that I realized our group was slightly extraordinary (because several people were noticing us and tallying momma's and kiddos...), 4 mommas and 7 babes under the age of four.

• I must hurry away from the computer to make Apple Brownies to bring for a corned beef dinner at my folk's house tonight. (Which is why I'm only posting this one photo, more to come later.) Maybe I will take pictures of the brownie making and share the recipe later as well. They are unreal! So, add Apple Brownies to the list and a special dinner with my parents!

• Then from dinner we all are going to see my cousin Molly dance, she's an Irish Dancer! Evie is so into Angelina Ballerina and dancing, so I cannot wait for her to see another type of dance. And I cannot wait to see Molly either, I know she's good.

 

There is one more reason that I'm excited for today. 

In a nutshell, it's sort of a personal anniversary... twelve years ago on St. Patrick's Day I was going through one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I left Denver and moved back home. But that breaking point, as traumatic and anguishing as it was, was what it took for me to look back to God and truly see His faithfulness to me. He took me from devastation, freed me from hopelessness, made me new and gave me pure joy. Those phrases seem trite, but I write them with earnestness. I'm sorry if that is vague to share such a big part of my life in a few, short sentences. Most of the people close to me know my story, but if you want to know more I'd be happy to share. Just send me an email, or leave a comment if you'd like to hear more.

Doll-Baby and Sugar-Pie

Valentines Day to me is; at it's best, a good reminder to recognize and celebrate the love we have, but at it's worst, it's an invitation to selfish thoughts and expectations. 

When my eyes are full with images of lavish gifts or romantic valentine dinners, and my email box full of flowers.com spam, it is easy to let my perspective be misled. To think of what should be done for me... it can really sneak up on me!

I don't really want the obligatory roses or chocolates, just to know that I am loved and to have good time together with my lovies. So to keep my perspective in check, I want to look to the One who is love. To fill my heart and mind with His definition of Love.

1 Corinthians 13:3-5 (The Message)

^3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end. 

(bold type is to emphasize what I need reminding of)

With renewed perspective... rather than waiting with expectations to have others serve and do for me. I want to look for ways that I can show and be love. 

For my favorite man Philip, I made a Brown-Sugar Apple Pie, since apple pie is a favorite thing of his.

And a baby-doll for my doll-baby Evie seemed sweet, like her.

What I've Been Up To...

Well it's obvious that I've been busy! And now that I'm getting caught up with some of my projects... I can take time to share them with you. I'm very excited! I feel like it's show and tell day at school!

 I think this will require a bullet list of events.

• To start, there have been a lot of photo jobs lately and that has been an answer to prayer. Several months ago, I felt convicted that I wasn't being faithful to use that skill/gift. (When I say "gift", I don't mean that in a prideful way... rather, that it's something I feel created to do, and I love it!) Work had to fall into my lap for me to take it, but now I want to help make it happen. My hope is that I can bless the people I get to work with, and that I can help provide for my family as well. So, lots of photo work (all at once!) equals a big hooray, but also WAY too little sleep! I've been in a state of delirium this last month. Apologies to my family and friends for that.
• Thanks to my very talented cousin, Elisabeth Owens, a designer... I have a logo! So official, I know. There will be a website, business cards and packaging to come as well. As soon as I make time to work through the details and plans for that. So here's the logo, I love it! (See the EB, the eye, the flash, the awesomeness?) :)

• Continuing on, there have been some smaller projects like making Christmas cookies. 
• And big deal stuff like a family trip to NYC for my lovely sister-in-law Lindsay's wedding!!!
• There were even some funny little, paper mache squirrels Evie and I made for Thanksgiving...

I know, it's all too much! How can you possibly wait to see all those fun, beautiful, delicious and quirky things?! It's been so hard not to share my enthusiasm for all these events immediately, but now I get to catch up! Hopefully I won't overwhelm anyone with all this exuberance and/or the copious amount of photographs that will be flowing out of me now.

The Unintentional Life

Faithfulness

Intention

Being Prepared

Follow-Through

Time-Management

Action

 

These are some of the words that have been speaking to me lately. Through sermons, bible studies, conversations, and frustrations... any way that I am willing to receive the message, it is given!

Something that our pastor said has been on my mind...

(the clown-like-gnome is not representative of our pastor, but rather what I can potentially become, unintentionally... a clown)

That statement brought all my thoughts, conversations and longings into focus. I cannot float along in life (as I tend to do) and expect to land at a certain destination. My currents of whim and distraction will not deliver me anywhere but stuck in the bank, or possibly be capsized. If I wish to reach a particular place I must make plans, prepare, and then paddle to get there. Ugh, that means work and discipline, doesn't it? This might seem very obvious to many of you, but this has simply not been the way I have gone about life. In fact, I have an example of how I like to travel that illustrates quite the opposite approach...

Before Philip and I were married, my dear cousin Autumn and I traveled together for five weeks; three through Europe and two through Israel. We had Eurail passes, travel books and a loose list of destinations... NO reservations! One of our favorite ways to become more familiar with a city was to wander around, hop on a bus and ride it until we saw someplace interesting, (or until it reached the end of the line, were kicked off and stuck without a way back into town because all the buses had stopped running). The idea was that we could find places that we wouldn't have otherwise known about, and it felt like an adventure! But often we ended up getting dumped somewhere not-so-great and then had hours of wandering and winding our way back to somewhere more appealing (and safe).

Now, having described my approach to travel, I recognize it isn't so different from how I live day to day. Here I thought that my flexibility and "things will work out fine" personality were strengths, but I'm honestly beginning to see how they are holding me back.

It continues to woo me that God speaks so clearly to me, but with great gentleness! He knows that I need the repetition to keep something on my mind, and the frustrations and failures He uses to remind me of my need for Him and for the conviction to be intentional.