Thursday, September 9, 2010

How Can I Sink When God Is Perpetually Throwing Me Lifelines?

Whatever it is that calls out my self-doubt and strokes my thoughts of inadequacy, (be it hormonal or spiritual, most likely both) it has been speaking with a loud voice lately.
And when I have responded to those feelings with defensiveness or defeat, neither has been helpful or healing... yet that is my natural response.

Out of that place I need to be drawn, away from dwelling on who-what-and-how-I-am.
Because I am insufficient and weak.
I need gentle (and sometimes persistent) reminders in my life of who is always sufficient.

My thoughts turn away from those that hold me down when I turn my ear to the one whispering sweetness, grace. 

Grace. Some in whispers, some not so subtle have been pouring in all around me...

A dear friend's letter of encouragement and building up, written and sent on a day when I most needed it. 
A retreat/roadtrip= decadent time with my momma, (more on that later).

Photography business opportunities that affirm me to keep going.
Bits of daily domestic progress: weeding and watering our garden, much needed organization and making homemade applesauce and peach jam.

And small but profound scenes of joy with Evie: using watercolors for the first time, imaginative play, dress-up, and keeping me company while working outside.

All these blessings help me to find the grace that I've been shown.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
Hebrews 4:15-16

1 comment:

Karen Franklin said...

I'm so glad it's a throne of GRACE. If it were a throne of judgment or condemnation, I could not approach at all, let alone with confidence. But with grace, I can.

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